Review Haiku – Wicked Pictures’ First Crush (2012)

Some movies are just so cute and funny… and some movies are just so cute and funny because, in some random and remote way, they strike a familiar chord. Wicked PicturesFirst Crush (2012) did just that.


Here’s the synopsis:

Alex [Brendon Miller] finds something wrong with every girl he dates and often calls on his best bud Julia [Stormy Daniels] to rescue him from his romantic disasters. After years of this, Julia calls in a return favor and enlists Alex to attend her class reunion in hopes of winning back her high school flame [TJ Cummings]. Her plan is a success and sparks fly bit Alex finds himself distrustful of the rekindled love. With the help of a creepy school coach, Alex is determined to prove to Julia that the one that got away isn’t really the one for her!


…and the trailer:



Like I said First Crush is really cute. It’s a sweet story that sneakily reaches in and reminds one of a time wherein they may have initiated a similar caper. I’m not saying who or what or anything specific here, not really… I’m just saying that there may be points in First Crush that may resonate with some members of the viewing public. (maybe)

It’s also a sweet story that’s rendered in a really humorous way. Between Brendon Miller’s howling “Smell the Way You Taste” (holy god, hilarious), Stormy Daniels’ full-body comedy (ie her fantastic facial expressions, crawling around on the floor in the most epic of boobilicious painted on dresses, etc), and Steven St. Croix being Steven St. Croix – Funny Mode, First Crush delivers more than its fair share of laughs.

And one must not forget about TJ Cummings, who does shmarm here so perfectly. It’s grossly satisfying.

Stormy TJ small

(pictured: TJ, Stormy, and a little bit of vomit – perfect!!)

Several other production elements also contributed to the overall quality of First Crush – very classy sets, motorcycles!! (maaan I was so hoping that former real-life stunt rider Steven would’ve done some Coach Creepy bike tricks after dropping off Alex, but I guess that’s not what one does on a Harley), and a super hott girl-girl scene between Celeste Star and Breanne Benson that was the hands down best in this film.

Seriously: hott.


(pictured: fkkkkk…)

The real through-line for First Crush though was the dynamic between Alex and Julia, which was played so perfectly by Brendon and Stormy (respectively).

This was a cute movie, but it also had something more – it made me happy, and it made me think about my first high school crush… and about the nonsense that may or may not have ensued years later. Content capable of entertaining in the present while striking a chord with the past is real gift.


First Crush (2012)

With performances from Stormy Daniels, Breanne Benson, Celeste Star, Ash Hollywood, Heather Starlet, TJ Cummings, Brendon Miller, Steven St. Croix as “Coach Creepy” (non-sex), and a bunch of non-sex having extras.

Written by Stormy Daniels and directed by Francois Clousot  for Wicked Pictures. Released in December, 2012. Buy your copy here.


BTS: I watched this online (via, so I don’t knowwwwww… but knowing Wicked, I would expect the DVD version to have 1 or 2 bonus scenes, some BTS footage, and other standard “extras” (galleries, trailers, etc).


(pictured: cute :)

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