PVV – The Ballad of Janine

I don’t know Janine Lindemulder. I’ve never met her, and I’ve never even seen her in real life…

…but I’ve always admired her (“always” is, as always, somewhat relative here).

I knew who she was before I ever actually “knew” who she was. And if you were semi-musically and/or pop culturally cognizant in the late 1990s, you knew her too.

(pictured: Janine)

Janine made her first adult appearance in Andrew Blake’s award winning Hidden Obsessions (1992). Her “ice dildo” scene with Julia Ann therein won an AVN Award for Best All-Girl Sex Scene (1994). It was quite the career debut.

Janine went on to become one of the most recognizable and successful performers in the adult business.  She was a Vivid Girl for years and has starred in some of the most winning adult films ever produced including Blondage (1994), Janine Loves Jenna (2006), Pirates (2005), and all those Where the Boys Aren’t movies (a more extensive listing of her credits is here).

She has won multiple AVN Awards, including Best Actress in 2006 for Pirates (2005), Best Supporting Actress in 2000 for Seven Deadly Sins (1999), and many sex-performance specific awards. She has been inducted into both the XRCO and AVN Halls of Fame.

But her life wasn’t all fun and girl-girl games… and this is where Janine gets me.

Before celebrity sex tapes were an amusing dalliance for the likes of Kim and Paris, et al, Janine was involved in “the biggest scandal since Pam & Tommy Lee” – Janine and Vince Neil (1998), wherein our girl is seen bangin’ none other than Mr. “Too Fast For Love” (1981) himself. Now I know Janine is a professional sex performer and I totally know how companies like to make these things out to be more scintillating than they actually may be (for more on the changing celebrity sex tape genre, go here), but I can’t help but wonder if this was private sex released out into the public… in which case, that had to be pretty sucky.

(pictured: Hidden Obsessions (1992) – buy it here)

And then there was the whole Jesse James thing…

Long before Ms. Sandy Sunshine went slumming with that horrific beast of a trashy creature (btw: yes, I am totally evaluating Mr. James on the basis of the media’s presentation and assessment of his behavior, which is certainly biased and slanted… but I really don’t care in this case), he and Janine were married. And they had a daughter – Sunny.

And while the whole world was watching sympathetically as Sandy fought alongside that douche bag Jesse to get custody of Sunny from his soon-to-be-incarcerated-for-tax-evasion-oh-my-gosh-craaaazy-porn-star-ex-wife, I couldn’t help but feel so much sympathy for Janine.

Yes she had a kid with that idiot and yes she… ummm… “refrained” from paying her taxes, but I was endlessly frustrated by what, to me, looked like a mom trying desperately to hold herself together while the world crucified her and her kids (cuz Janine’s got more than one) were spirited away by the People’s Court of Sandra.

Many disagree with me… many may call Janine a nutty law-breaking blah blah blah, and I’ve had more than one heated discussion about what looked to me like sex worker discrimination.

And when I heard recently that Janine had been arrested (again) in late July for harassing Big Jess with over twenty-five (!!!) phone calls, I let out a Vittoria-caliber deep sigh…

(pictured: Janine)

Poor Janine. It’s currently something like 105 degrees out in Austin, and she probably just wanted to ask after her daughter. And then everyone just haaaad to jump all over her mug shot… because she’s not as pretty as she used to be.

But what’s “pretty” anyway? And no one is ever going to stay “as pretty they used to be,” are they?

I digress.

I always liked Janine. Sure she “was” “beautiful,” and now she looks like someone who has lived a very storied life; but looks aside, she always spoke about her work in terms of passion. She seemed to feel like adult performance was a tool capable of showing viewers a version of passion different than the ones they may have already been experiencing (I watch a lot of BTS footage, btw). I always found that interesting.

(pictured: Janine)

And she didn’t take any crap!! I always heard that she was very firm in her convictions about what she would and would not do on set (including that one Rocco story/incident that I have no way to substantiate… but some of you may know what I’m referring to) but was never a princess or a diva. The same cannot be said for everyone working in her same occupation.

And she used her real name!! Even when she was just “Janine,” she was still Janine. Janine Lindemulder. No stage name, no pseudonym – she worked as Janine Lindemulder, her legal given name, in the early 1990s.

I can’t help but feel that she, in her own unapologetic way, did something to help destigmatize adult performance. Maybe it’s just me, but that’s worth acknowledging.

(pictured: Janine)

I think this is still her “official” web home – FreeJanine.com

And here is the video for that Blink 182 song – you know you know it!! (“What’s My Age Again?” from Enema of the State, 1999)


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