Review – New Sensations’ Scooby Doo: A XXX Parody (2011)

Review by Hank Fontaine

Screw Me, Do Me, Do!”

Allow me to start off with a bit of a disclaimer. I’ve never truly been a fan of the parody genre of porn movies. To me, parody in porn comes across as somewhat lazy. Now of course, the same could be said for a lot of what is produced in mainstream Hollywood today. There are really very few original ideas anymore.

But I also must confess that I haven’t taken the time to watch too many porn parodies. And of those I have seen, I usually find myself too caught up in comparing the portrayal to the source material, which is pretty distracting.

I also should admit that I am a little bit of Scooby Doo purist (read: I never really cared much for that little punk Scrappy)…

So I did have a few reservations when I sat down to watch New SensationsScooby Doo: A XXX Parody (2011) – What might watching this film do to those precious childhood memories of sitting in front of the TV with a big bowl of cold cereal, totally engrossed in the zany adventures of those meddling kids and that dog of theirs’?!

But I sucked it up, popped it in, and gave it a go (that’s what she said, and apologies to Michael Scott)…

…and within the first few minutes, I was pretty much hooked.

Jinkies!”

Visually and stylistically, this movie is far superior to most porn I’ve seen in recent memory. The movie plays very well, and the actors are all do a very good job of portraying their respective roles.  This is no small feat, considering they are playing extremely beloved, fairly familiar animated cartoon characters.

The best performance probably goes to Chad Alva. The Shaggy voice thing has been done before and no one really compares to Casey Kasem’s original, but Alva comes really close.

But the whole thing kinda turned on me the moment Bree Olsen opened her mouth. At first, I wasn’t sure if her version of the Daphne character was being played as a complete imbecile… or if Olson was just acting like herself in a Daphne costume.

Either way, I don’t think it was much of a reach, and I got to learn so much more – oh, so very much more – about Ms. Olson once I got to the BTS (see below for commentary on that).

I’m not a nerd, I’m smart.”

Best Performance, Honorable Mention goes to Bobbi Starr, who does a damn fine Velma. And Michael Vegas was great as Fred, ascot and all.

For the record, I am certainly glad director Eddie Powell didn’t attempt to put Scooby in this movie the way the Hollywood version did. But in spite of that one good decision, there were more than a couple of references to having sex with “Scoobs.” That seemed weird. And creepy.

The plot is pretty basic: Shaggy gets so high at a party that he can’t find Scooby, and the gang has some misadventures while trying to track him down. A subplot with a bank robbery features a bad guy in a mask; and there is a special non-sex appearance by Evan Stone.

Apparently, Evan Stone is turning into a modern day Ron Jeremy. I t seems like producers/directors try to find reasons to put him in every parody movie simply for the sake of having his name on the box. It was a token performance at best.

Here is the trailer:

 

Just take that fuck hole!”

Probably the worst sexual reference made during a sex scene. Ever.

The sex scenes are fair, bordering on average, and just about as formulaic and predictable as the original “Scooby Doo” episodes themselves. I was actually more impressed with the music playing in the background than I was with the action.

It’s Mr. Jenkins!”

I do have to give special props to director Eddie Powell, as I really did appreciate this movie as a whole. And extra credit for this bit…

You know how, at some point, in every episode of the cartoon ever, the gang is running from someone dressed in the ghost costume? And then, you know how they run back and forth across a hallway, into one door at one end of the hallway and out of a door at the opposite end, a whole bunch of times?

Great job of recreating that here; however, I have to take that credit away for doing it a second time. Too much of a good thing is still… too much.

All in all, I give Scooby Doo A XXX Parody high marks for what it was able to pull off. It got me to appreciate a porn parody and was well done overall.

I say: check it out

Recommended for: well, because Scooby Doo XXX does have a little bit of everything, it’s sort of hard to determine who it’s really targeting. That being the case…

It is a really well-made movie (note: I am not suggesting “well-made… for porn.” It really is a well-made movie), so anyone that simply wants to enjoy quality porn will certainly enjoy this. The sex scenes, although a little predictable, are pretty good (assuming Bree Olsen can keep from talking). And if you, as an adolescent, had a fantasy about Daphne and Velma in a little girl-on-girl “scissor” action… well, look no further. It’s also got drug references and allusions to “doggy style” featuring an actual, although animated, dog.

See… a little bit of everything!

Notables

Girls: Bree Olson, Bobbi Starr, and Lily LaBeau

Guys: Michael Vegas and Chad Alva

Plus lots of non-sex performances (in addition to Evan Stone’s)

Directed by Eddie Powell for New Sensations.

Released on February, 2011. Buy a copy of Scooby Doo: A XXX Parody here.

BTS/Extras: As I have stated before, I am not a big fan of behind the scenes content (in porn and mainstream alike). But if you are, Scooby Doo XXX has plenty to offer!

…the least compelling of which is the exorbitant amount of time spent on Bree Olsen. It’s bad enough that every time she’s on screen all I can think about is Charlie Sheen, but they simply spend too much time on her. Granted, she is the biggest name in this movie, but enough is enough! Not only is she no goddess, it turns out that the whole ditzy Daphne thing really wasn’t much acting at all. She leads a vapid, vacuous existence (at least according to what she reveals in BTS footage).

From this point forward, if I ever find myself physically aroused by a scene she stars in, I have vowed to repeatedly punch myself in the penis. She is that painful to watch/listen to/think about.

Ralph Long, who does the narration and filming for the BTS, doesn’t add much to the content by the types of hard-hitting questions he hits the talent with. For example:

“How did you prepare for your role in Scooby Doo?”

Really? Just stop it already.

In sum: outtakes, photo galleries, and typical BTS fare, although quite a bit of it. Also, a bonus scene! Decent enough to sit through if you’re into that sort of thing.

Hank Fontaine

Hank FontaineHank Fontaine is an extreme swinger, cold cereal killer, part-time public nudist/exhibitionist, and burgeoning writer trapped in the mind and body of a near illiterate. He is not a porn aficionado, nor is he a porn connoisseur… just a married guy in his early forties who likes to get his freak on. If these things interest you, maybe y’all can be friends? Follow Hank on Twitter at @HankFontaineEsq and/or email him here.