Review by Vittoria Buzza
Not too long ago, I received a very hairy surprise… which created a very hairy situation, and I was a little harried afterwards. There really is no other way to put it – it was just HAIRY!
The surprise? Adam & Eve’s Hair Pies (2010) and Reality King’s Hot Bush, Volume 2 (2010). Collectively, these examples of a type of very popular niche adult content turned my usual wine-and-cheese Friday into a much wilder evening!
I watched Hair Pies first because I just had to know what kind of pies they were referring to in the title, and let me tell you – not key lime!
Hair Pies was definitely pro-bush. In fact, the film was even tagged with “My love goes where her bush grows,” which definitely put a song in my head!
The layout of this film is simple, yet interesting. There are five separate scenes featuring five relatively unknown ladies, each with their own unique bush. At first, you see each woman doing a sort of striptease to cheesy music. There is no talking… just dancing and taking clothes off. Naked soon enough, each one of the girls then finds her way down to her hairy hairy bush and begins to pleasure herself.
After the solo portion is over, a male performer randomly appears and they start going at it in every way possible. Each respective bush never seems to get in the way, which I found surprising. I honestly thought it would have been difficult to maneuver one’s way around such jungles, but all the couples seem to do just fine.
In fact, they do such a good job that they all have time to make a pie at the end of each scene!
Yes – the “pies” alluded to in the title are wholly unique… They are created when the male performer ejaculates on to his partner’s bush. Once this is done, they both play around down there a little bit, swirling the creaminess and whatnot… very, very interesting.
Hot Bush, Volume 2 is bit different than Hair Pies in that it has more of a story line (well, kind of). Now don’t you worry – you still get the same amount of bush, it’s just that there’s a bit more talking beforehand.
First off, some box copy: “See for yourself if the curtains match the drapes. From the landing strip to the Bermuda triangle, these magnificent muff mounds are sure to please! Natural unshaved pussy is what Hot Bush is all about. Grab your snorkel and get ready for some serious muff diving!”
(I am pretty sure this is copy for the entire series… but anyway!)
This installment of the Hot Bush series features some pretty big deal performers (Bobbi Starr, Ashley Blue, Kimberly Kane, and Kristina Rose) and some lesser-known but equally interesting ladies (Layla Rivera, Nicole Ray, and Violet Addamson) in six total scenes. Each scene has its own story, but they are not interconnected by anything except for the fact that all the ladies have quite a bit of hair “down there.” Yay for hair lovers!
Now, you all know by now that I usually enjoy adult films with narrative and story lines. I find them much more interesting and engaging. This film, however, might be an exception.
The stories were all over the place and quite unbelievable. Some of the stories are as follows: lady seducing pool guy in order to not pay her bill, gardener walking in on naked homeowner to find her asking him for help on her “personal bush,” etc. etc.
My favorite one (and I’m using the word “favorite” a little loosely here) was definitely the last one. In this scene, a guy sees a lady walking into an office building. He then decides that he wants to “get to know her,” so he lets the air out of her tires and waits a long while until she comes out of the office. In distress, the lady asks him for help. He offers to take her home in order to get the tools they need. The second they get to his house, they go at it. Totally plausible (not), and yes – you get to see her large bush!
I guess the reason I found the “acting” so annoying in Hot Bush was because I felt like it was a bit unnecessary. The stories were not believable whatsoever, and the performers could have gotten to showing their bushes a lot sooner had they not wasted time jib jabbing with nameless boys.
In terms of the bushes, the only big difference between the two films is that Hot Bush does not have as many “pies” as Hair Pies… but I guess that can be inferred from the titles in the first place.
In sum, if hairy is what you are looking for then both of these films are for you. I usually tend to go for things with a bit more dialogue; but in the case of Hot Bush specifically, I am going to say that maybe dialogue and stories are not always better. So, if I had to choose between the two, I would opt for Hair Pies just because they get down to the hairy business a lot sooner.
Recommended for: hair lovers (stylists even?), bush fans (Bush fans?), people who enjoy cheesy story lines, and pie enthusiasts!
Adam & Eve’s Hair Pies released in June, 2010
Girls: Lynn Pleasant, Laurie Vargas, Trisha Rey, Katie Angel, and Mandy Sweet.
There are also boys in this movie… uncredited boys.
Directed by David Lord for Adam & Eve. Buy yours here.
Reality Kings’ Hot Bush, Volume 2 released in January, 2010 (buy yours here)
Girls: Ashley Blue, Kimberly Kane, Kristina Rose, Bobbi Starr, Layla Rivera, Nicole Ray, and Violet Addamson.
There are also boys in this movie, and these boys are also uncredited.
BTS: Hair Pies had some BTS, but Hot Bush did not. It was mostly just showing the filming process from the perspective of someone in the room where the scenes were filmed.
– Vittoria Buzza
Check out other PVV reviews here.
Vittoria Buzza is a queer Mexicana scholar in her early twenties. Her main research interests lie in the examinations of cultural tensions embedded in the visibility of Latina bodies in the media. Follow her on Twitter at @VittBuzz and/or email her here.