Review Haiku – Burning Angel Entertainment’s Asphyxia Heels the World (2012)

I love Footloose (1984). Like, seriously love it.

I own maybe five DVDs that aren’t porn, and Footloose is one of them. The Junior Mint and I used to do some serious “gymnastics” to the barn dance scene growing up, and for years I (secretly) did everything I could to imitate Ariel’s out-of-town honkey tonk moves. And I was really sad when Chris Penn died.

Footloose was Chauntelle-formative, so when I saw this monstrosity/trailer, I was appalled…

 

…but when I saw this hilarity, I was delighted!!

 

Heeee!!

Burning Angel Entertainment’s Asphyxia Heels the World (2012) is suuuper silly. Consider:

Asphyxia had a strong passion in life for her extensive collection of stiletto heels and silky stockings. She moved to a small town and got a job at a shoe store, hoping to be smothered daily by high-class footwear and sexy pantyhose. But the shop owner (Danny Wylde) banned all heels from the racks, and only allowed flip-flops to be sold – a move to support his lavish foot fetish. He had such a passion for feet, he made sure that heels were outlawed not just in his store, but in the entire city! Asphyxia had to come up with a plan to satisfy her stocking needs, and HEEL the world. Her determination lead to a whole slew of fucking-and-sucking all over middle America! Can heel and toe lovers find a way to get along? Can seekers of footjobs and stocking admirers peacefully co-exist? Find out in this kinky comedy starring Asphyxia.

Now, Danny’s “plot” isn’t as nefarious as the synopsis would have you believe, nor is Asphyxia’s solution all that determined. Whatsmore, the film itself isn’t nearly as Footloose-like as the trailer would make you think; and some of the dialogue is so downright ridiculous that those delivering it often have a hard time getting it out… but these things and a liberal sprinkling of good-natured rompous sex add to the overall fun that characterizes most Burning Angel films.

And the phrase “heels of highness” – priceless!!

 

(pictured: buy your copy and/or watch it now here)

 

With performances by…

Asphyxia, Krissie Dee, Arabelle Raphael, Dee, Twix, Danny Wylde, Tommy Pistol, Brian Street Team, and Mr. Pete

Asphyxia Heels the World was written and directed by Joanna Angel for Burning Angel Entertainment and released in March, 2012.

Buy your copy and/or watch it now here.

For more Burning Angel-related reviews, interviews, and fun, go here.

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(pictured: small town shoe store drama!!)

 

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One thought on “Review Haiku – Burning Angel Entertainment’s Asphyxia Heels the World (2012)

  1. Cute trailer. Burning Angel has the market cornered on the truly quirky fetish tinged video at the moment.

    Seriously though – I am seconding your emotion on the remake of the movie Footloose. No reason to mess with the excellence of the original! IMO it’s as repugnant as a remake of Dirty Dancing would be, if it ever gets off the ground.

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