A while back, I got a press release related to Extreme Comixxx’s then-upcoming parody release The Justice League of Pornstar Heroes (2011).
According to the press release, Extreme Comixxx was opting to refrain from releasing the certain-to-be-ridiculously-popular Justice League on video on demand (VOD). This strategy was intended to support retailers, e-tailers, and distributors whose businesses are hurt by VOD sales and online piracy.
There’s lotsa discussion about that whole issue here, but what’s relevant here is: I’ve been super excited about The Justice League for weeks and weeks now!!
And although patience is not my most developed attribute, I waited “patiently” for what seemed like eons… and then, one day in the not so distant past, my very own copy of The Justice League (complete with a pack of 20 awesome trading cards!!) arrived…
Now before we proceed any further, I must be honest: I am merely an intermediate fan of superheroes. I love me some action super-fantasy and I do know a fair amount of trivia, but I have no idea during which number of what series XYZ happened to Whomever Wo/man.
Just sayin’… but back to The Justice League!!
Now, all me aside, even the most casual super fan couldn’t help but be titillated by this porno-comic fantabulous synopsis:
“When a great evil threatens porn’s very existence, The Justice League of Porn Star Heroes comes together to battle the Legion of Poon. Can Batman and Robin tag-team Catwoman into submission? Are Wonder Woman’s truth juices enough to get the General talking? Will the sexy Mob Boss stop The Flash in his tracks? Can Superman get Zatanna to turn a real trick? Will the Green Lantern let Harley Quinn strip him of his ring & more? What are Lex Luthor and Poison Ivy scheming? Can our porn star heroes save the day? Only watching The Justice League XXX will reveal the answers, as the porn star heroes try to save the world, one orgy at a time.”
Here is the trailer:
And the film starts out pretty dang killer – awesome retro-looking campy to the max cartoon introduction morphing into the real people aaand…
We find out that some sort of weather bomb is set to destroy Porntropolois!! The super friends – Superman, Batman, Robin, The Flash, Green Lantern, and Wonder Woman (but minus Aquaman, who takes off to go do something in Atlantis and is not seen again… in this installment) – then set out to question the usual suspects and hopefully defuse the bomb.
Then, after the dastardly crisis/scheme is laid out, viewers are treated to some really great opening credits – think any big-budget mainstream superhero based film – followed by cartoon introductions of Batman and Robin’s, The Flash’s, and Wonder Woman’s (flying her invisible jet!!) respective forays into… ummm… “investigating” a usual suspect. (ps there are more than three scenes in this film, but only these have a cartoon action intro)
Scene 1. Batman (Evan Stone), Robin (Scott Lyons), and Catwoman (Roxanne Hall) – DP ball clackin’ sure to satisfy a wide variety of Batman and Robin fantasies. Catwoman is almost extraneous… Almost.
Scene 2. Superman (Rocco Reed) and Zatanna (Kristina Rose) – Superman swoops in to find Zatanna showcasing her magical wares in front of a blow up doll audience… creepy!!
Scene 3. super fiends Lex Luthor (Tom Byron) and Poison Ivy (Shyla Stylez) super scheme.
Scene 4. The Flash (Barry Scott) and Mob Boss (Andy San Dimas)
Scene 5. The General (Tommy Gunn) and Wonder Woman (Chanel Preston) – for this scene, I have only two words: truth juices.
Scene 6. Green Lantern (Talon) and Harley Quinn (Amber Rayne, who gives a really squirrelly/freaky performance… said performance coupled with harlequin face make-up and headdress/hat was described as “kinda hott” by a co-viewer, but it was a little too much for me)
Scene 7. Wonder Woman, The Flash, Batman, Robin, Superman, and Green Lantern – Wonder Woman rewards (??) the rest of the super friends with what was, given the rest of the film as context, an excessively excessive blow bang (more on this below).
Pretty straightforward super friends and fiends (for the most part) fucking (for the most part)… just what every comic fanboy/fangirl has ever wanted!!
Ok so there is a little bit more nuance to The Justice League. I mean, sex in costume alone does not a great adult film make!!
The Justice League has some pretty high highs – awesome special effects (seriously) with a lot of the “super” parts done in cartoon, nice crime-fighting with a cliff hanging twisty plot conclusion, a perfect Linda Carter-era Wonder Woman (Chanel Preston), and an even more perfect Adam West-like Batman (Evan Stone, who is the key to any and every great adult parody). Plus many of the super dudes pull their cocks out through the crotchal areas of their costumes, allowing them to fuck in character. Fan fantasy sweetness!!
But there were also some… ehhh… lowish lows – a couple of the super friends and super fiends were… well, let’s just say that they weren’t nearly as well-played as Wonder Woman and Batman were. This concerned me, not because I care so much, but because I thought this might be a bit meh to the whole fanboy/fangirl consumer base (which I suspect may be one of this film’s primary target audiences).
Whatsmore, I was originally going to have my trusty all-things-comix-aficionado accomplice, Art Bizarro, assess the quality of The Justice League in terms of source material representation, but then I learned that Zatanna (Kristina Rose) is actually supposed to be a super friend (not super fiend)… so I skipped that idea.
But this “critique” may be a bit of overkill. I mean I, intermediate-level fan that I am, thought Zatanna was just delightful as she was (I didn’t know!!), and I was able to get past the temporal disconnect that necessarily comes along with a Steve Buscemi-looking Boy Wonder (sorry, Scott bebe!!).
(pictured: XXX Batman and the Buscemi Wonder)
The Justice League may not be as spot on a parody as it could be; but for the casual fan of super friends fun, it provides more than enough entertainment and fantasy fodder.
However, I feel compelled to say…
The final blow bang scene in The Justice League left an unpleasant taste in my mouth (pun not intended).
Although I understand, maintain, respect, and hope that every person involved with this particular scene chose to participate on the basis of what they felt was right for them, the sociologist in me wondered about the gender implications of Women Woman going from super equal team member to piñata-style party favor… (I’ll leave it to you to figure what’s what)
Moreover, I was taken aback by how out of place this scene seemed – this wasn’t just a blow bang; it was a pretty hard blow bang. The Justice League was a fun, entertaining, and sexy parody with a consistent tone up until this last bit. In another genre or context, the mechanics of this specific scene would have been fine… but here, it was out of place and seemed excessive.
Sooo I don’t really know how to end this one. Maybe: great, minus the blow bang.
Recommended for: people who like comic books and DC characters, but not comic book aficionados (I’m guessing); anyone with a Batman and Robin fantasy of various design; and Chanel Preston fans.
(pictured: bad Zatanna!!)
Note: I have read some press and other reviews that suggest The Justice League to couples… Yes, it depends on the couple; but I personally do not recommend this film for sexy time with your lady partner unless you know her tastes very very well. The last scene really changes the tone of the film, and I found it off-putting on multiple levels.
Girls: Chanel Preston, Kristina Rose, Andy San Dimas, Shyla Stylez, Roxanne Hall, and Amber Rayne.
Guys: Rocco Reed, Evan Stone, Talon, Scott Lyons, Tom Byron, Barry Scott, Tommy Gunn, Bill Bailey (non sex), and Ron Jeremy (non sex).
Released in April, 2011. Buy your copy of The Justice League of Pornstar Heroes (2011) here.
BTS and Extras: fairly standard bts material with some bloopers, outtakes, and special effects “coverage.”
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You may quote anything herein with the following attribution: “Reprinted from Porn Valley Vantage/PVVOnline, copyright © Chauntelle Anne Tibbals, PhD (www.PVVOnline.com).”