(book) Review – Allison Vivas’ Making Peace With Porn: Adult Entertainment and Your Guy

Allison Vivas is a wife and a mother and a feminist. She also happens to run a Pink Visual …a porn production company that’s heavily situated in technology. She’s one of the most well-respected leaders in the adult business. And now, she’s also an author.

This June, Alli’s first book – Making Peace With Porn: Adult Entertainment and Your Guy – will hit the proverbial shelves. Backed by Hunter House Publishers, a small but mighty press specializing in self-help books about health, relationships, abuse, and sexuality, Making Peace With Porn is an in-depth, engaging look at some very personal issues. All from a woman who knows both sides of the fence.

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(Available on June 11, 2013. Pre-order your copy on Amazon here)

I was lucky enough to get an advance copy of Making Peace With Porn a few weeks back, and I loved what I saw. The book is broken up into eleven chapters (not including the Introduction and Additional Resources). The chapters discuss topics like:

1. My Guy Watches Porn! What’s Wrong With Him?

4. Who Taught Us to Hate Porn

9. Finding Tolerance, if Not Acceptance

Each chapter’s discussions are very Alli – straightforward, open and approachable, but definitely no bullshit. She talks to us both as an industry leader/producer and as a woman who has gone through her own process with porn.

This is a very important approach that brings something so new to the table… because we often hear from women who struggle with porn and/or with their partner’s engagement with adult content, but we never hear from a woman who has struggled with these issues and who knows the reality of the adult industry.

Until now. (it’s super refreshing)

In addition to myriad personal, biological, and social issues, Allison also addresses an extremely hot-button topic – shame. Specifically, Alli talks about sexual shame and shaming men for their sexual desires.

Unfortunately, we as a society still struggle with sexual shame. Whatsmore, shaming men’s sexual desires has become an anti-porn, anti-sex rhetorical go-to. In terms of consumption patters, Alli invites us to stop focusing on the individual – porn is bigger than whatever scene your partner happens to be watching. (it’s also bigger than just that one scene) And, in terms of interpersonal relationships, she invites us to stop blaming and shaming and start focusing on communication, creativity, and mutual respect.

Also, super refreshing.

This is my “official” take on Making Peace With Porn

Making Peace With Porn is a very important book.

In a manner that is equal parts frank, accessible, and thorough, Vivas explains why it is that most men watch porn… and why it is that (generally) watching porn is not a bad thing.

Vivas – a successful businesswoman, adult industry leader, wife, mother, and self-identified feminist – debunks myths about “porn stars” and the adult industry’s inner-workings. She also draws on academic studies, personal stories, and her own company’s extensive sales data and online traffic to show a more nuanced picture of porn consumption. Taken together, these insights and information help readers move beyond reacting to porn and, instead, work towards engaging more in-depth considerations of adult entertainment.

Vivas tackles a number of uncomfortable issues, including self-confidence and sexual shame. Her anecdotes and personal insights shoot straight, speaking from a place of informed individual experience.

This book is essential reading for anyone struggling with their guy’s “relationship” with porn, or just looking to become more informed about the mysterious but ultimately ordinary adult entertainment industry.

…but there’s so much more that can be said. You should definitely check it out.

 

Making Peace With Porn: Adult Entertainment and Your Guy by Allison Vivas will be available on June 11, 2013.

Pre-order your copy on Amazon here.

 

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