It is currently the year of our lord 2012, AFSG – After Fifty Shades of Grey (2011).
Apparently, in this new age, it’s ok for “normal,” “average,” and/or “regular” folks to talk about, think about, and/or be inspired by BDSM-esque sexy things… and apparently we have the Fifty Shades trilogy to thank for this.
As I’ve said before, some people say those books are awful: poorly written, “pornographic,” corrupting, and/or just off-base nonsensical representations of a very rich and varied subculture/community/practice/lifestyle. Others say that they’re awesome: downright sexy, romantic, inspiring, and/or, at the very least, a mainstream introduction to the world of BDSM. They’re normalizing and destigmatizing. But then someone else says this… and then another says that… and then back-and-forth, and then… yeah, you get the idea.
Certainly these books are both good and bad and a million other things in between, but I can’t say for sure cuz I haven’t actually read them. (I confess, I really really don’t want to)
But I can say this – if you’re interested in exploring BDSM, using texts like Fifty Shades of Grey as guides is probably not the best idea. No disrespect to E.L. James, but I’m thinking a relevant professional/mentor may be a better option.
Hence, BDSM sex educator and kink photographer Morpheus’ new book How to Be Kinkier: More Adventures in Adult Playtime (2012)!!
First of all, don’t let the Morpheus thing fool you – this Morpheus here is not this Morpheus.
Morpheous the author has been a BDSM educator for over a decade. He has taught workshops on rope bondage, the aesthetics of bondage and fetish photography, advanced and beginner BDSM, and more. He has also taught skill-set specific workshops for professional dommes and subs and served as the education director at Toronto’s Bound and Gagged dungeon. Before How to Be Kinkier, he wrote How to Be Kinky: A Beginner’s Guide to BDSM (2008). Seems like a pretty good place to get your advice, I’d say.
Anyway, Kinkier can be described quite simply as an extremely clear, bright, and comprehensive guide to some pretty adventurous play. Morpheous (Lord Morpheus!!) acts the informative friendly mentor and takes practitioners through things you probably definitely shouldn’t do without some lessons. From balloon anal beads and wrist shackles to vacuum beds and play piercing, there’s plenty of expository text and plenty of hott glossy photos of everything in practice.
(seriously – even if you’re not into this sort of thing, the photos alone are worth the price of admission)
The book is not jargony, nor is there any hint of “insider elitism.” It’s also not assumed that everyone has (or wants) a cache of fancy sex dudgeon gear – another nice thing about this text was the discussion of “pervertibles,” or regular household items (like ginger) that can be turned into BDSM fun.
The guide also addresses some extremely important issues – safety, negotiation, and the emotional components embedded in BDSM play – throughout the text. Everything is friendly and encouraging, and there are even sassy/sigh/observant little pull quotes and suggestions in the margins.
Couple all that with an introduction by and endorsement from Nina Hartley, and I gotta say – this book looks pretty solid to me.
So yeah, read your Fifty Shades of Grey… but when you’re ready to take the actual BDSM play/practice plunge, get a copy of Kinky and Kinkier (even though I haven’t actually seen the beginners’ text, I suspect it’s just as good) – you will be happy you did!!
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Buy your copy of How to Be Kinkier: More Adventures in Adult Playtime (advanced guide) from Amazon here.
Pre-order the reissue of How to be Kinky: A Beginner’s Guide to BDSM from Amazon here.
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For more BDSM-related things, including interviews and film reviews, on PVV, go here!!
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