How appropriate – porn so retro kitschy that it comes from the future!! (hehe)
I gotta be honest with you here: I think I’ve maybe seen a sum total of ten minutes worth of “MacGyver” in my entire life. The show was about a secret US government agent who, in lieu of guns, opts to use ordinary objects to perform extraordinary feats during dangerous missions. “MacGyver” ran on ABC for seven years (1985-1992) and starred Richard Dean Anderson.
But just because I haven’t seen much “MacGyver” doesn’t mean I wasn’t impacted by the cultural hugeness that was this program… me and the rest of the world.
So, given all that, who in their right mind wouldn’t be all over watching THIS FILM!!?:
(pictured: next, on MacGyver XXX)
DreamZone Entertainment’s MacGyver XXX (2013) is so gd funny looking… well, I don’t even know what to say. One might suggest that this box cover isn’t exactly the best, but I would counter such an opinion with this box cover invokes perfect “MacGyver” schtick. (can you see the wig!!?)
The screener came with a letter that read (in part)…
MacGyver. More than a name, it’s a word that has become synonymous with getting things done in absurd ways using found items. Can you think of a better subject for a XXX parody? Neither could we, so we made one. The movie has it all: action, sex, adventure, and sex! It also features one of the most awesome wigs to ever appear in an adult film.
…and this packet of MacGyver-ables – yes!!!:
(pictured: oh, there’s a paperclip #trust)
MacGyver XXX has a fairly simple premiss:
MacGyver [Richie Calhoun] knows how to get out of a jam. Using ordinary household items, Mac can solve just about any crisis. But when his best gal Friday and his ex-girlfriend are kidnapped by a nefarious criminal, he’s going to have to use a whole new set of tools, including a rubber fist dildo, a condom, and a potato-chip can to save the day this time. But once he’s found out that he’s been double-crossed six ways from Sunday, the question is: will he want to? For the first time, MacGyver’s loyalty to the Phoenix Foundation will be tested in a way that he might not be able to accept.
And there’re (at least) two ways you can look at this film…
1. It’s cheesy, crappy, poorly done porno.
We’re in Hong Kong, are we? As we drive around Van Nuys and hover on a sign for the airport, we’re in Hong Kong? Ha!! The cuts are really choppy and sloppy, the story is woefully thin, and the sex is not great… like, not great at all. MehGyver XXX.
2. It’s an amazing, spot on pornified homage.
MacGyver XXX‘s cheesy hilarity from beginning to end, the camped up porn tropes made to compliment the parodied target genre, and the relatively inexperienced women performers/poor actors that match well really with ’80s-era sitcoms all add to the project’s authenticity. Further, the outlandish manner in which “Mac” burns away ropes binding his hands, opens combination locks, and generally runs around in all kinds of seriousness are all just so goofy… and authenticating, as well.
The production value is not top-notch here, but neither was the source material’s. MacGyver XXX does everything it can to invoke the spirit of “MacGyver;” and, be it on purpose or accidental, the sex scenes do absolutely nothing to interupt that flow. Whatsmore, Richie Calhoun shows us once again that there’s no quirk he can’t play.
(pictured: cropped from the back of the box – how are you not laughing your ass off??)
If you’re a glass half-empty kinda peep, you won’t like this film. But if you’re looking to appreciate it for what it is, half-full or otherwise, you’ll love it.
Recommended for: “MacGyver” fans, 80s nostalgia buffs, and anyone who appreciates Richie Calhoun’s comedic schticky genius
(pictured: you must click because Richie is ri-dic-u-lous!!)
MacGyver XXX (2013)
With performances from Richie Calhoun, Ella Milano, Jayden Lee, Sabrina Taylor, Sasha Sweet, Earl Slate, James Bartholet, and introducing Jamie “10-90″ Earlstone as The David Hallyday.
This film doesn’t come out until January, but you can pre-order it here – see you in the future!!
Find out more on MacGyverXXX.com
BTS: the BTS takes up an entire second disc, and it’s actually pretty good. There is almost an hour of on-set footage, and boy does that content debunk myths of porn glamour. DreamZone also offers up soft, non-sex cuts of three of their parody films (including MacGyver XXX), which is nice.
And just for fun, “Mythbusters VS MacGyver”!! (note: the Mythbusters are a team, Mac G was but one man)
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Images used with permission from DreamZone Entertainment.
You may quote anything herein with the following attribution: “Reprinted from Porn Valley Vantage/PVVOnline, copyright © Chauntelle Anne Tibbals, PhD (www.PVVOnline.com).”